Recently, I’ve rejoined the world of online dating apps. I’m not a fan of them because all judgments (mine included) are primarily based on looks. While I have ZERO expectations that I’ll meet anyone, at least I can say that “I’m out there”.

When you create an online dating profile, one of the questions to answer is “Want Kids?”. That’s a hard question to answer now.

To be honest, I don’t want kids anymore. I’m 45 and, even if I didn’t have a hysterectomy, the odds are against me. I’d be a high-risk pregnancy. In fact, women over 45 have a 1-in-35 chance of giving birth to a child with Downs Syndrome (Ref: March of Dimes).

Also having a child at 45 means that s/he will enter college when I’m 63. Goodbye retirement trips…hello college loan payments! I really think that my imaginary child shouldn’t be worrying about his/her aging parents in their 20s and 30s. They should be enjoying their single and professional lives much like I did at that age.

So when I see the profile question “What Kids?” I either leave it blank or say “Love kids, but not for me.” I love my niece and nephews (1 and 2 + 1 on the way = 4 of them *phew*) and they’re fun to spoil. As an Auntie, I can do all of the fun stuff with them and then send them home. So for me, it all works out!

Anyways, I met a guy from Plenty of Fish and we were chatting. The topic came up if I wanted kids. I tried to avoid answering the question by saying “Not Really.” He kept pressing so I finally said that I can’t have them because I had to have a hysterectomy. We exchanged a few more texts.

Then, I was ghosted.

I knew it was because he didn’t like my “Want Kids?” answer, but whatever. As one of my exes said “You don’t want a guy who likes you only for your wet parts or your baby-making abilities”, and he’s right.

It stung a little bit, but in the words of any teenage drama series, “he can suck it”.

Having my hysterectomy means that

• I don’t have painful cramps each month.
• I don’t have anymore back pain.
• I can exercise every day and focus on my health and fitness level.
• I don’t have to plan my travels around my period calendar.
• I don’t have to pack a separate bag full of tampons, pads and pain meds.
• I don’t need to make sure I have a healthy stock of tampons and pads.
• I don’t need to keep emergency underwear, pants, pads, tampons in my car in case I have a “monster flow” accident.

I’m not averse to adoption, but I wouldn’t do it as a single woman. If I met a guy who’d be an amazing father, I’d totally consider it – and I’d adopt an older child, not a baby.

That guy who ghosted me has a goal in mind and – to be frank – he was already a little weird. E.g. He kept asking me how often I’d expect (yes…he used the word “expect”) to see him each week and said we should to EVERYTHING together. So I don’t consider it a loss. Good luck to him, but still…he can suck it.